I've Caught Fire and I Can't Get Up!

Green Fire!  As Destructive as Regular Fire but Green

Hello Fellow Travelers!

Lately, my safety awareness has exponentially increased.  I've always been aware of my surroundings, always had an evacuation plan.  Simple stuff, right?  Wrong!  Not so simple to rescue/remove or run for your life when you can't walk!  I've figured out how  to be lighter, faster, stronger.  What I can't work out is how not to cook (or die ) in the event of a fire.

I've dutifully fallen out and followed numerous fire evacuations throughout my life.  If I ever thought of them at all, it was as a slight annoyance.  I mean, who thinks they're really in any danger of being hurt by fire?  Cancer survivors, that's who!

Now, I see everything in terms of it's potential flammability.  Boxes, books, linens could potentially burst into flames.  My PS's answer to my disabled-meets-death fear?  "I'll carefully drop you out the window".

Oh.

So let me understand our revised evacuation plan:  in a life and death fire scenario, you'll toss me out of a window?  Really? Uh, that sounds like a fracture, OW!

Thanks, but no thanks.

I'll come up with my own plan.  I have been through too much to be tossed out of a window.  I can't break another bone.

I freely admit I'm extraordinarily "risk-averse" , wary of every situation, preplanning every move I make.  I've always considered commercial flying to be akin to hitching a ride on top of thousands of gallons of gasoline.  It doesn't matter what "class" I'm in either.  Cruises have always been bacteria rich, claustrophobic, sewage buffets.

I barely tolerate one (flying is sometimes necessary) and I've always entirely disregarded the other (I'd rather set the 2K on fire than be on a cruise).

Lately, my risk assessment has expanded into every space, every decision, every closet.  I see bedding, bath towels and baskets and wonder if they could burn.

Computers render paper unnecessary, VHS tapes are obsolete.but your home is chock-a-block full of flammable material, believe me.  Your kid's closet?  Anyone's backpack?  They're like that cow in Chicago! (Chicken?   Some farm animal!) Combustible!
 
Fire safety is just another check on my new "life list", another catastrophe to avoid.  After brain tumors what's a little fire?  I just need a better escape plan!  Who doesn't?