Hello Fellow Travelers!
My caregiver has to eat something, so while he does that, I will try to walk or at least stand. I will stand! OK, I can stand. Big deal, right? Unfortunately for me, standing unassisted, is a really big deal. How does one measure success at recovery? I've never been in better shape, but it's a shape gathered from unbelievable stress, on my body and my soul. I feel like I should carry a large weapon (Uzi?) on my back, and always be ready for the next assault. Because I never know when the attack is coming or from where, but it will come.
We saw a movie, before I had the tumor removed,(forever after known as BTR, as in, Before Tumor Removal) called "District 9", it was an Australian film where cockroach looking space aliens are stuck on Earth, and humans treat them like scum. It features one, racist, human who, over time, turns into a cockroach man and has to live among the Roach People. If you haven't seen it, it will get you thinking. Plus, the part where the racist guy turns into a huge mopey, cockroach is pretty awesome! It was sad though, he had to live with the aliens ( in District 9) but he missed his family (human), he was a bug-alien and could only watch his family from a distance at the end. It was sad because he didn't fit in anywhere, he was one, lonely, large, roach and I relate to him! I am afraid on a daily basis, I see myself changing every day and I don't fit in anywhere. I'm too young to fit in with the old folks and too old to belong with the younger set. I am too crippled to do any of the activities I used to enjoy and far too obstinate to ever entertain the idea that I won't do them again.
As my voice gets fainter and I get harder to understand, I get quieter and quieter. It's lonely inside my head, no wonder Clint Eastwood talks to empty chairs. Maybe he's lonely, I can understand that...I
We saw a movie, before I had the tumor removed,(forever after known as BTR, as in, Before Tumor Removal) called "District 9", it was an Australian film where cockroach looking space aliens are stuck on Earth, and humans treat them like scum. It features one, racist, human who, over time, turns into a cockroach man and has to live among the Roach People. If you haven't seen it, it will get you thinking. Plus, the part where the racist guy turns into a huge mopey, cockroach is pretty awesome! It was sad though, he had to live with the aliens ( in District 9) but he missed his family (human), he was a bug-alien and could only watch his family from a distance at the end. It was sad because he didn't fit in anywhere, he was one, lonely, large, roach and I relate to him! I am afraid on a daily basis, I see myself changing every day and I don't fit in anywhere. I'm too young to fit in with the old folks and too old to belong with the younger set. I am too crippled to do any of the activities I used to enjoy and far too obstinate to ever entertain the idea that I won't do them again.
As my voice gets fainter and I get harder to understand, I get quieter and quieter. It's lonely inside my head, no wonder Clint Eastwood talks to empty chairs. Maybe he's lonely, I can understand that...I
No comments:
Post a Comment