Monday, August 1, 2022

One of my Favorite Things - No, not Jimmy Dean Breakfast-On-A-Stick (that's a hard NO), But A Teeny Tiny Mystery- Good News for Everyone!

 Hello Fellow Travelers!

One Hint This Was NOT My Order

The other day I was unexpectedly alone.  I'm rarely "on my own" for lots of reasons.  And that's probably a good thing - I'm pretty oblivious to anything going on when I'm online and wary/watching the rest of the time.  When the PS is around, I feel more or less secure.  But when I'm alone, I start checking locks and death tolls around the globe.  My default has always been to see the darker side of everything and still find perfection and artistry in humanity.

Case in point:   Yesterday, I was alone and there was a knock.  It's usually a delivery of some kind and I never open the front door - but eventually I peeked and saw a delivery had indeed been left in my doorway, but it wasn't some bubblewrapped whatever from Amazon.  It was a crate of very perishable grocery items, eggs and meats and a wrapped case of  forty 16oz water bottles.  My task was to get the perishables into the refrigerator ASAP!

 I cleared a path to the kitchen, cleared space in the freezer and dragged the water and the grocery crate indoors. It was a Herculean effort!  I was fierce!  I was unstoppable, single-minded in my purpose!  GI Jane?  Try GI Jan! Then my PS arrived.  Apparently I had inadvertently received an order from Sam's Club (Walmart) and didn't realize it until I saw a chuck roast.  I know how to break down a steer, but I can't say where a "chuck" is.  There were other clues that this "mysterioso" gift was a little more Grub than Hub:  The strawberry-lemonade that I thought was soooo thoughtful was in fact, on closer inspection, a cheap, syrupy knockoff of Tropicana Lemonade.  Another sign?  Nobody we know eats Velveeta -n- Shells.

So after tolerating a flood (and still trickling in) of Redneck jokes from my child and the PS, I made pearls out of chum and donated everything to a foodbank.  The hungry get the food the people who ordered the food get refunded and we are able to feed a few people.  And I won't have to eat anything with a face.  Everybody wins!