A Decidedly Non-Creepy Photo of the Seasonal Icon and How Great I Feel About It

Hello Fellow Travelers!

I sincerely hope everyone around the world looked skyward at some point and felt connected and generous of spirit in whatever religion you practice.   I will temper last weeks' adventure-into-creepyville with something really festive that marks the season!

These are not microscopic images of blood, like Patient Spouse thinks they more closely resemble than what they actually are, sugarplums.  Whether or not they're real is of no importance:  they look real and that's what counts!  They look exactly like they're supposed to, like you imagined them, plums coated in clouds of sugar dust.  Iced and juicy.  Images of them could dance in your head!

Being cancer-free (but Wheelchair Bound) I've experienced everything terrifying and wonderful every second we have on this planet has to offer.  I've spent years trapped inside my own mind (I'm fortunate there's a lot of room in there to wander around) and come to the conclusion I'm very lucky to be alive at all (Thank you, Hamid!) and by continuing to live I have an intrinsic responsibility to record my journey on life's highway, no matter where it goes or how long it takes (Thank you!, Dr. P.)

December, 2014 is a month like almost any other for me since 2011.  The world is washed in silver, blue and gold.  Everything and everyone has a rose-colored tint.  Every day feels like a holiday!  Every Day!  Every day I'm grateful to be on the right side of the dirt, I celebrate being alive every day!  I am grateful for the unwavering support of PS and my family.  For the first time in my life I am drawn down a path (or up a mountain?) to go off a cliff?  Nah!  Every day does feel like 12/25 though!  Every new day is a gift!  For the first time I know what I'm supposed to do and I'm doing it!

Christmas Spider? Only In Germany! Anywhere Else We'd Be Looking For A Shoe! To Squish It! (If There Was Any Question, Spiders Are Vermin!)

Hello Travelers!

Hel loo!  Christmas trees needing spiders?  Where's the can of "Raid"?  "Happy Spiders?"   Can you say "Black Flag"?  The only good spider is a dead spider.  I don't care how "happy" they are!  Santa doesn't care either.  I asked him.  Santa's way too busy with the kids to worry about spider happiness!  This is just a great argument for artificial trees.  No dirt, no bugs.  American.  Made by Americans for Americans.

As everyone knows, tinsel on trees came from smokers not knowing where to put the skinny wrapper seal that is the first wrapper to come off a new pack of cigarettes. American cigarettes.  Since no one in California has ever smoked we don't need spider/tree mythology to explain away tacky tinsel.  And as the rest of the world quits smoking, tinsel use will hopefully diminish across the globe.  I have never used tinsel and I don't know anyone who does.  I have, however used the Fall Issue (over 700 pages!) of "In Style", various heavy shoes (and boots), and hairsprays to eradicate the arachnids.

Gotta love those Germans though, creeping me out at Christmastime!  I didn't think it could be done! Since 2011,  I'm fairly unflappable,and a happy camper,  generally speaking, but picturing the eight-legged web-spinners running up and down the tree gave me the "heeby jeebies"!  Ick!  I love fake trees!  I hadn't considered infestation and small travelers on the tree!  Another crisis narrowly averted.  Thank you Germany!  It's just weird enough...

Sugarplums? And "Big Ass Spiders" It Must Be Christmastime!

Hello Fellow Travelers!

No kidding!  It was on Animal Planet, too!  Designed to attract the elusive MTV market?  Go big or go home?  Ratings grabber?  Definitely.  I just thought ""Big A__ Spiders" was a bold statement.  Even for today's youth.

I've made no secret about my aversion to arachnids:  me and the spiders of the world are in a  USA/U.S.S.R. state of detente circa 1982:  If I don't see them, I'm not forced to kill them.  As with all unpleasant images, if they're in my line of vision I remove the image, turn off the TV, kill the spider (or complain until Patient Spouse dispatches it), close the computer.  There, problem solved!

It's a pretty common phobia, as phobias go, and like so many other things in life, it just is.   There is no logical explanation for a phobia they just are.  I've dealt with mine over the years and managed to contain it, but occasionally PS still likes to test my "ick" response for fun.  His fun.  What does he do since I've condemned every visible arachnid in a ten mile radius to an "In Style" death?(An "In Style" death, by the way, is when you roll up an "In Style" and squash a bug with it.  Nothing "stylish" about it!)  He pulls up "VS" on the laptop.  "VS", you know "Black Widow vs. Scorpion" (Black Widow), "Tarantula vs. Black Widow" (Black Widow, again)  "Fire Ants vs. Black Widow"  (Ants are relentless! And there's zillions of them!)  Bugs fighting to the death!  In jars!  Online!  It's just such a guy thing!  Ick!

Of course I watched, I couldn't help myself!  You would too!  Nothing says "Christmas" like the British!  And no food is as British as the plum.  Think about it!  Plum pudding, Little Jack Horner, The "Sugarplum Fairy".  I used to be a foodie, what exactly is a "sugarplum" anyway?  They sound good but has anyone actually seen one?

And pies.  When the English don't know what to do with something they stick it in a pie crust!  Kidneys, four and twenty blackbirds, plums and Lord knows what else.  Who can forget "Sweeney Todd"?  People pies!  Talk about "repurposing"!  Pie crust covers a lot but doesn't cover murder, for long anyway!  Even if the killer is Johnny Depp and the piebaker in question is Helena Bonham-Carter.  Sheesh!  I like my pies fruity and non-mysterious!  Like I like my gingerbread men!  It always gets back to cookies!  Merry Christmas, Travelers!

The British are renowned for many things cuisine not being among them

Autumn is the "Black Hole" of Seasons! Thank Goodness for Christmas!

Hello Fellow Travelers!

There are just a few things I actively dislike.  Being chilly or cold is at the top of the list.  I couldn't survive in Fargo or Chicago or the Twin Cities.  I grew up in a dry, warm climate and have spent my adult life in a slightly cooler, slightly wetter environment.  My favorite season is summer just as my least favorite season is Autumn.  Accordingly, I've updated my profile pic to reflect the dread that only Fall can bring!  Winter means snow and The Holidays, (and cookies!), but all autumn means is that summer is gone and winter is coming!  And lots of wind! And possibly rain, cold rain! Bleah!

The Intrepid Tearose (it just keeps growing!) Facing The Dark Clouds of Autumn!  Brrrr!

 This picture illustrates the pathos of the season (Baby, it's cold outside!) contrasted with the tenacity of the tearose; much like myself, it just keeps coming back!  I have a cousin who posted a cute still of "The Abominable Snowmonster" (he's white and blue with googly eyes, very unscary!), as his "Profile Pic".  Seeing that old picture from "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" took me right back to the Island of Misfit Toys, and a North Pole where the snowmen sang and played the banjo!(And just what were those Rankin/Bass characters, anyway?  Muppets?  Puppets?  Animetronics from the Far East?  Who knows?)  And all Santa does all year is get ready for the big ride and worry about the weather.  All Mrs. Claus does is worry about fattening up Santa for the big ride.  Just the way imaginary holiday characters (and Madison Avenue) intended!

Anyway, like when the Grinch (the real animated one that Dr, Seuss drew, with Boris Karloff not a lame 2-hour movie with Jim Carrey and a bunch of even lamer backstories, anyone remember Cindy Lou Who?  I rest my case!) and Charlie Brown had their respective disastrous holiday specials when Santa stopped at The Island of Misfit Toys on his way to the rest of the world I knew the Holiday Season was officially under way.  "The Bumble", as Yukon Cornelius refers to him by the end of the story (Spoiler Alert!) is a Christmas convert without a growl (or a tooth) for anyone!  I salute my cousin Kirk for resurrecting that memory for me!  For years I identified with The Grinch, but in truth I love Christmas, the winter, Santa, gifts, trees, icicles, ornaments, lights.  It's all great and there's no such thing as an ugly Christmas sweater!

And it's the best time of year for cookies!  Or pretty much anything involving sugar!  Christmastime is an open invitation to explore the sweeter side of the spectrum. Starbuck's has their weird holiday flavors like Pumpkin and Mint Chocolate Chip.  Desserts are practically mandatory!  So there's that.  I'll keep looking forward to winter.  Autumn is still a little too hinkey for me.  I'm still trying to learn the history of "America's Game", "The Boys of Summer",and if the Giants make it to the Playoffs my dance card will be full!