Remember "The Little Engine That Could"? Well I'm "The Old Engine That Will"

Hello Fellow Travelers!

I was waiting all week to write about something relevant (Chanel and Cancer?  Too rich?  Too thin?  Or too dead?) and then this happened:  I met a Motion Therapist named Bridgit.  She's kind and beautiful and gave me difficult exercises that I have a short time to master.  To quote Fred Willard in "Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy", "Ask and you shall receive!" When female reporter Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) demands that she be given a hard-hitting news story, (I think he gives her a meat loaf recipe.  She actually reports on a not-to-be-missed cat show, it is one of the funniest movies ever made!  Seriously.)

Anyway I went to Folsom (lovely town!) and I asked for serious work and I received it!  Since time is of the essence, I was really appreciative that she got right to work putting me to work.  Apparently there is "a lot going on" in my noggin (we all know that!) that needs to be identified before a determination can be reached.

Luckily, determination is my middle name.  Leah is actually my middle name, but "Determination" should be!  All the weight lifting, all the hundreds of miles of biking to nowhere came together  to show their purpose. I "lost my place in space" and I have to regain/relearn balance to walk. I understood what she wanted and her terminology instantly.  If she was surprised by my determination and degree of FUBARedness, (F@#$@#! UP BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION! Old Government Term), she never showed it.

What she demonstrated was a knowledge of the brain that was as vast as mine is small and that she had a plan for neuroplasticity.  I have to execute the plan, but there's a plan.  That's all I want!

I am the patient of the future.  Kicking cancer out of my body was just the first step in a long process, not the end game. I expect all subsequent MRI's to be clear and they are and will continue to be.  I'm as healthy as a horse and expect to remain so. We live in a society that worships money and youth.  On the surface, society revere's health, which is really important because once you lose that, none of the other things matter.  As my best friend once observed, "You can always make more money.  But once your health is gone..."  The implication being once you lost your health, you were screwed!  You don't get a "do-over".  I am alive and profoundly grateful to be (Thank you HA!)  (Thank you, Paul (Dr. Death!).  I am focused and motivated.  I have a young child.  Failure is not an option.  Pain?  Fear?  That's the other guy's problem!  I feel fantastic!  Hungry, but fantastic!  I keep thinking about those stupid "Transformers", that's what has happened to me I'm transforming.

I think the game is changing and I'm on the precipice of that change.  Bridgit Moore could be my guide to the other side.  Game on!  Bring it!

My mother recently asked me what acute rehab was.  It's where they try to train you how to function at home immediately following surgery, I spent a few weeks there immediately following brain surgery in 2011. I was not very happy or successful in 2011 for the  same reasons I would be amazingly successful now. Immediately after surgery I was not eating/sleeping properly, dependent on pain medication and under the tragic misimpression I'd get better in about a year.  It's been three years.  I take 0 medications and am always searching for an answer.  I have focus and drive like I never have had.  Everything I do since 2011 is for a single objective; one goal, one result.  I don't see anything else.  That's what I mean by "patient of the future".  I'm never, ever quitting and I don't know whether I should be amused or exasperated by the lame (and I mean Lame!) selection of goods and services marketed to the lame!

Scooters?  Upright Tubs?  Seats that creep ever so slowly up staircases?  Really?  I fought The Big "C" for this? Uh, I don't think so! The only big "C" I entertain now is "Cookie"  or possibly "Caramel", I am different from other patients because I only care about getting better.  I don't care at all about feeling better!  I feel as about as good as I'm going to.

This is why I think I would thrive in an intense, therapeutic setting:  I'm ready to work, I have health, strength and stamina.  I don't expect to have fun, ever.  I'm neither sleepy or sensitive!  I'll sleep and cry when I'm dead.  But mostly because I will do the work.  There is an old kitchen expression that translates to most professions, that instantly and precisely tells everyone where you are in the big scheme of things.  I'm "in the weeds"(see: FUBARred for description) and I know it!  I have one shot at getting out of them.  This is it.  So, come on Dr. Huang (?), what do you say?  Patient determined to succeed who needs almost nothing but therapy and somewhere to do it?  C'mon!  I don't care where the referral comes from!  I will succeed!  That place has this awesome "Transformer" machine that engages the patient safely and relieves the therapist of manipulating all the patient's dead weight around, using a remote.

I can't walk but I have energy for days!  When I can walk I'll never stop.  I'll just keep walking...  Or stand, I'll just stand around!  Eating cookies!  That would be great!

I didn't survive cancer, I kicked it's butt!  It's not coming back, I can suffer through an infinite number of MRIs, that won't change!  So come on Bridgit!  Bring it!

 Now we'll see if I'm as smart and strong as I think I am.  It's time to Embrace the Suck, people!


PS - Boomer was a special boy!