A New Super Villain! Name-TBD-What Do You Think? Pretty Fun, No?

What I Think Of Now That I'm No Longer Focused On Cookies -

Hello Fellow Travelers!

You have to use a little imagination (OK, a lot!), but picture Kim Jong Un's head on this body.  Pretty scary?  Add a mools giswin (Korean Water Ghost) from "The Ring" and it could be a pretty frightening, no?  And radioactive lasers - that it shoots out of it's eyes!  Or it's spinnerets (butt), I haven't decided which yet.

My PS was supposed to attach the strongman's crazy head to this corpulent (yet remarkably speedy) body, but he says we don't have the right software.  Whatever.  My objective is to stick the dictator's head on the chubby (but FAST!) arachnid's body.  I don't think that's asking a lot. But nooooo!  He's "busy".   Fine.  I'll just do it myself, it's not an ILM project, right?  I mean it's just basic cutting and pasting, right?  Crude but effective.   How hard can it be?  Well, turns out C&P doesn't really work after all and I need to have a F/X expert (my PS) realize my vision and we'll have to get some new software.  Whatever.  I just want to adhere a crazy despot's head (Kim Jong Un) on a chubby black arachnid.

Once it's "on paper" I'll fine tune it, make it a ghost that can crawl out of your TV.  Then I'll give it even more powers, I'll "Super" it.  A really big boot couldn't crush this monster!

It occurred to me that as the real world becomes increasingly frightening, supervillains are less so.  This mutant is scary but safe.  That crazy dude terrorizing the planet?  He's a real danger!  It will take a real hero to vanquish that monster.  Do we have one?

PS - My favorite CNN intrepid reporter, brave (or REALLY dumb) Will Ripley, the only western reporter allowed in North Korea is filing daily reports from Pyongyang!

One More Scary Thing I Can't Worry About...

Hello Fellow Travelers!

A Perfectly Normal Reaction to Finding a Monster Arachnid

I've finally reached a physical goal, made an important mental discovery, I was all set to write about them in detail, then this happened:  I went to Facebook and a cousin of my PS was awake all night because a large spider was alive, in her house, somewhere in the darkness, plotting (because that's what they do). 

The only acceptable spider is a dead one as far as I'm concerned.  I'm currently unable to smack them with my usual force and previous accuracy so on the rare occasion I encounter an "eight-legged freak" I have to weigh the risk of a killed (success!) beast against a missed swing resulting in a mark on the wall and a possible spider escape, where it will undoubtedly plot to attack (Unacceptable Failure!)  I've really thought about this.  I usually ask an accurate shoe-marksman to do the "hit" for me now.  I never take my eyes off of it until I verify it is, in fact, deceased.

Reagan said "Trust, but verify", well that applies here as well.  "Spray/smack/bash (or all three) and then look at the corpse to make sure the wily spidey is, in fact, eight legs up."  That's like a Geico Ad:  "Everybody knows that"

Since I try to be prepared for anything, I've adapted my environment to provide insects (and worse) no safe haven, no dark corner to hide in, no food source.  Real holiday trees house bugs, the PS wanted an artificial tree - done! Same thing with woodpiles - spidey condos.  Duraflames work just fine! Webs?  I find the spinner and ask my PS to dispatch it.  Then I always check out the dead spider to make sure that it is.

My PS thinks my "Kill All Spiders On Sight" policy is pretty funny, even endearing.  I have no emotions I just know that a sparsely furnished, clean, controlled environment does not attract dirt, dust, insects or spiders.

I cannot clean, cook or defend myself against arachnids.  What I can do is not provide any incentive/environment for Charlotte to spin her stupid web in.  "Charlotte's Web" was the first book I read but it would have been really short if I had written it.  "Fern spotted a large, grey, spider in the corner of the barn.  She squashed it with her saddle shoe.  Fern then checked the heel to make sure it was dead.  The End."

A loose, living, large spider at night is a sleep preventer.  The only worse thing I can imagine is being trapped with one in an MRI machine. (Shudder!!!)

The writer in me has to know - what happened next?

I've never said this before but Facebook, here I come!

P.S. - Will Ripley (The only Western reporter allowed in N. Korea) is filing reports on CNN again!