Staples in My Head? Let's Give It A Whirl!

Hello Fellow Travelers!

Jack Skellington from Tim Burton's "Night Before Christmas

It is late autumn.  For most people it means it's Homecoming and football games and field trips to an apple farm or a pumpkin patch.  Romance is in the air  What does the "Post Cancer Surgery Patient" do in the fall season?  Good question!  Glad you asked!

After consulting several doctors I decided to have my cranial shunt removed last week by the same neurosurgeon who removed the tumor (thank you, HA!)

I expected nothing really momentous to happen, I just saw no point in having an artificial object roughly the size and dimension of an IPhone stuck in my skull!    Like, forever!

I was also under the misimpression that this removal was "no big deal" and since I had already dispatched Brain Cancer, I thought shunt removal, while no walk in the park would be relatively easy.  Once again, I thought wrong!

It's been several days since I had the brain implant removed and I'm just now coming around!  They say "Cats Have 9 Lives"?  Or at least that's what their cans say!  Well, I think I just used up 2 or 3 last week!  I'm hungry and hurt!  The brain thingy is gone but was replaced by metal staples and crunchy hair!  Oh, the humanity!

And the nausea!  I didn't eat and drank a lot of water in the hospital and I still projectiled like a baby!

If surgeons think that Betadine crap "sanitizes the surgical field", (in other words, the place on your body the surgeon intends to cut), why is the "solution" so sticky and gross?

I was supposed to go home; with dozens of staples in my scalp and sticky hair, and remain crunchy and staply until today, until my  "follow up" appointment today.  Then his office released me with three words, "Gentle hairwash?  OK." (Thank You again, Dr. HA!)

He didn't need to tell me twice. I was washing what's left of my hair as soon as I heard OK.  The staples are still there until he takes them out next week but now I feel a little less like Jack Skellington and a lot more like a cancer survivor.  My point is, I was de-stickied or unstickied and it changed everything!  I'm going to lather, rinse, repeat, forever!

  Even though the shunt removal was more exhausting, more painful and just, well, grosser than I expected, I'm one step closer to recovering, I'm glad the satellite or whatever is out of my head!  

I know I'll recover and ski again and ride a bike through oak trees in autumn.  That knowledge is part of my strength.

There is no amount of pain or vertigo that can stop me.

PS-In The Bullwinkle J. Moose "I Don't Know My Own Strength" Goofball News,  Remember last year when  I wrote to you about the best ginger cookies I've had?  Nyacker's?  My PS went into a World Market to get a tin for me as a gift and was told he wouldn't be getting any because the demand had increased unexpectedly and there was a rumor of some blog being involved....  What this means to me is I'm not getting any cookies!

Happy Birthday, Rose!

Hello Fellow Travelers!

No, it doesn't matter what spiritual leaning you ascribe to, a Pope Francis bobblehead just makes you smile!   A very special friend sent this to me because she knew it would crack me up (thank you, Marjorie!).

My revered Mo-In-Law reached a milestone (39!), and we celebrated at an Italian/Swiss Alpine restaurant in Burlingame last night (Stella Alpina Osteria) and it was awesome!  When a good Italian restaurant proclaims their gnocchi appetizer to be"heavenly pillows", I'm all in!  Gnocchi all day long!  Few places can accurately describe their gnocchi as "pillow-like" in any way, shape or form but Stella Alpina's were really light!  And, as one of my in-laws commented, "You just wanted to bathe in that sauce!"

After a sumptuous meal it was gift time (and a lengthy "cake hour", naturally) where I took a particular interest in our selection of the present for the "birthday girl".  She always receives a ton of great "swag" on her birthdays and this one was no exception!  We gave my Patient Spouse's mother a laptop computer.  The PS will hook it up for her this week..  She has friends and family all over the world and social media is all her grandchildren use to communicate anymore, but those are not the perfectly valid reasons behind my suggestion we go shopping online to BestBuy.com.

My only means of communication these days is via the computer.  Only by using a keyboard am I able to correspond on any level.  Fortunately, we live in an age, (and a state) where communicating exclusively using a computer is not only "normal" it's actually preferred.

Since Removal of the brain tumor (and no, I'll never get tired of saying that!  Ever!  Ha-ha!) in 2011 I can't walk or speak.  But I can complain.  A lot!  Like, "Shaddup Your Yap Already!", complaining!  Like they say, "Go big or go home!"  At least I think they say that, don't they?  Well, they should.  And just who exactly are "they", anyway?

My point is (and yes, there is, in fact, a point here someplace!) that I've been happily carping about something pretty much my entire life!  Now I complain globally using a laptop computer!  And offer unsolicited commentary to unsuspecting travelers

The door that seemed nailed shut has given way to a new open window on the world.  And everyone can travel everywhere, through this gem-colored, window, together.  This is a gift I have been given,  this POV, and I'm very grateful for it.  Is this "gift" as cool as  "Pope" bobblehead?  No!  It is a great way to communicate with loved ones in real time, though,


I don't "Tweet" or "Facebook" or even "Text" . ( Another "casualty of cancer"?  Penmanship!  I can recite "The Gettysburg Address" but I can't write my own signature!  Yet!)  And, online, it rarely matters anyway!  Only people matter.  Rose knows this.

My Visit with the Neurologist or "You Should Have Your Head Examined"

Hello Fellow Travelers!

I waited to post until just now because  I saw my neurologist today, and since these are the chronicles of my prolonged (I mean really!?!  Will this ever end?) journey through "brain cancer square", I felt like reporting "live" in "real time".

I now have a plan for neuroplasticity that involves neurosurgery (Thank You, HA!), a hospital and tons and I mean tons of physical therapy!

As you may have surmised, I am single-minded in reaching my goal objective, which is simply to walk again.  I found out today that I'm "pre-diabetic" (whatever that means) or to put it in English,  "You need to lay off the Mocha Freezes from Costco!"

Too bad, too!  I really like those things!

OK, I'll stop inhaling the bakery goods, duly noted.

Another "post surgical" revelation?  I'm definitely suffering  from vertigo!  Duh!  Not exactly news!

I tip over all the time!  I'm like a table without one leg!  Totally unstable!

Yesterday, I fell and hit the side of my head on an opposing wall (is that what "opposing" means?  Like - Opposing Counsel?)

My left incisor (fang tooth) bit through my cheek and left a big welt..

I look as though I was in a street fight and lost badly!  Or to be really precise, I resemble someone who just had their ass handed to them!

So, I did what any female in a similar situation would do:  I overapplied expensive concealer and followed that with Brightening Powder (Laura Mercier).

As I was evaluating my "cover" job  (it blew!), I began to notice other changes.

In spite of many cuts and bruises, my overall "carcass" has visibly improved!

"Working out" has worked out!

Not only have I lost weight, I've developed "new" muscles!

My "front" is all torn up, but my "foundation" is stronger than ever!

My arms, legs, core all show new growth and definition!

As Tom Cruise said in "Interview With The Vampire", "There's life in the old girl, yet!"  (Of course, he was dancing with a corpse when he said this, but you get the idea....)

There are still many adventures in front of me!  Many places for the PS and I to see!

Cooking, Driving and Jury Duty - Things I'll Probably Never Do Again! Oh Well... I'm Alive!

Hello Fellow Travelers !

I heard my Patient Spouse was driving north to Mt. Shasta, so I requested a picture to see if Shasta looks as dry as everything else.  Shasta looks pretty dry.

 How the drought is impacting Shasta County seems entirely secondary because there is a huge light pole in the center of the picture!

You don't even notice the dry mountains, do you?  The stupid pole blocks most of the peak!

Don't get me wrong, I'm appreciative!  I asked for a picture of Mt. Shasta and I got one!  A picture with a big, metal, object in the center of it that pretty much completely obstructs the mountain, but there is, in fact, a picture from 10/3, of Mt. Shasta.

And there was a little snow!  Bonus!

The "repurposing" of mountain climbing gear,  is another skillset I have recycled for my post-cancer world..  I used to rappel off of mountains.  Recently, I bought a rappelling harness from REI so I could safely practice standing!  That's right, not even walking, just standing around!  And even that makes the PS visibly nervous!  I don't know what to do with the caribiners either.

Sacramento.  It's pretty flat! And flat is good when you've "lost your place in space".  I like flat surfaces right now!  Any sort of incline is a challenge.  A little walk is a surreal death march, with a walker!

Any house or restaurant becomes a gauntlet of unseen, unconsidered obstacles I have to instantly plan for.  An unexpected curb seems insurmountable.

You want to know what else is impossible these days?  Jury duty!  I can't walk, talk or see but I was summoned  to serve as a juror!

Oddly enough I think under normal circumstances I'd make an excellent juror  I pay attention, I'm empathetic, non judgmental, and I always have to see how the story turns out.

I wish I could serve as a juror!  Alas, I cannot!  And I have a doctor's note indicating as much!  I would love to be vetted as a juror!  It's like voting, it's my job as a citizen!  But not right now.  Soon though..  I'll be ready for Jury Duty and then I'll go really wild and go to the DMV!

Mt.Shasta