"It's Cal Worthington and his Dog, Spot" No, It's Just Me

Hello Fellow Travelers!

I am going to address a theory I've long held:  Neuro cancer ( or any type, for that matter) is a harbinger of death! Usually.  I beat the bejeezus out of brain cancer.  It's gone (thank you H.A.!)  I refuse to accept the idea that I will be affected permanently by anything negative.  I finished a schedule detailing my hourly,  plan of attack for full recovery.  Spoiler Alert:  My plan involves a lot of physical therapy.

The PS recently gave me a very useful home elliptical machine that has enhanced my strength and hopefully speeds up this process of recovery.  What's also so great about this, is that I can go as long as I want, and spend my time at the gym working on walking, on my core.

I tell some of my doctors that I'm the "Patient of the Future" and they laugh, but it's true!  And getting truer!  I'm younger, more physical and will live longer than my predecessors-in-cancer.  If I have a hope in hell of recovering it will all have to come from me! So I'll work even harder, starve more, write faster, whatever I need to do!

Remember that dude who sold used cars in Southern California?  Cal Worthington?  He'd stand on his head to make a deal.  Well, I'd stand on my head to walk again if I could, which I can't.  Maybe someone could staple me to  wall or something.

I saw an advertisement recently for The American Cancer Society whose mission seems to be: cracking the code of cancer.  And I have no doubt they will, sooner than later.

Until they do, however, I will be one of a huge wave of new survivors - I'm lucky to be alive and  despite possessing several not-so-fun disabilities, I've never felt so great!  I did some research and there are millions of cancer survivors throughout the world!  What's really "new" is that for me and thousands of others is that surviving is no longer the "end game"; it's just the beginning or possibly the middle.


Why am I soooo lighthearted?  I once read somewhere that to lose weight, models are always hungry, and they stay that way.  In my neverending quest for enlightenment; (get it?  I said enlightenment because I'm getting lighter! OK, it's pretty lame.)  I currently rely on my PS to help me get around so weighing as little as possible makes his life a little easier (although it doesn't stop him from making far too many annoying Orca jokes!)  I continue to lose weight and I'm always hungry!  I'm too uncoordinated to eat  desserts but that doesn't stop me from thinking about them,

What's Scarier Than Spiders From Outer Space? Two Words: Mom Jeans!

Hello Fellow Travelers!

On our short journey across country I was forced to buy a pair of expensive designer jeans for myself at an upscale store..  They were overpriced (on sale) but they fit, so I wore them out thinking I had solved another small problem!  But I was sorely mistaken, my PS glanced over at me and declared loudly that I was, in fact, rocking some new"Mom" dungarees!  Oh heavens no!  I have too many challenges as it is!  I absolutely can't be bothered by poor emergency jean selections (PEJS)!  WTH?Oh,  Man!

:"Mom Jeans"?  No way!  I work way too hard to wear the lumpy, asexual, ill-fitting slacks, modeled by Amy Poehler and Tina Fey on SNL.

The reason I had to get them on the fly in the first place was that I had downsized again!  So I tried on several different pairs of jeans before I settled on a pair without "bling" and that provided adequate fabric.

Since 2011 I have not purchased a single item of clothing.  As long as I'm "wearing a wheelchair" what's the point?

I was very careful in deciding which jeans to actually buy!

I like quality over quantity - always have.  You know why? Laziness!  I'm lazy and when you get a better pair of shoes or a bag, you're done shopping for awhile.  Never followed fashion trends.  Buy  a decent coat, it will last awhile.  Buy a great coat, it will last even longer.  Laziness has inspired most of my style decisions!

So it should have upset me more than it did to have the PS declare that I was wearing "Mom Jeans", fortunately for us I have an entirely different POV now.  I'm lucky to be here and I know it!  Jeans are the least of my concerns.  I'm alive!  And, all things considered, I feel pretty good!

You know what?  They weren't "Mom Jeans".,  My PS is just dead wrong!  Glad we figured that out!
Although I'll probably never wear those jeans again...

Giant Spiders from Outer Space and Brain Cancer: What Do They Have In Common? A Lot!

Hello Fellow Travelers!

I don't miss much and you know I have a sharp eye out (always!) for arachnids of any kind so when a rather large example of a sun spider rolled out of a very clean down comforter yesterday (and let me tell you, there was nothing comforting about that particular discovery!  No sirree, Bob!) and there was nothing I could do but freak out, so I freaked!

(Cue "Rocky" theme here.)

When my Patient Spouse came home he unfolded the blanket it did not yield the huge "space spider", I had previously been confronted by!  So my already shrinking world became even smaller.  I need to be ready to  battle with giant spiders from outer space!

Or to walk, which is even more challenging.

To avoid any more nasty surprises I mentally avoided anyplace I might meet a giant spider from outer space (Remember the Southern Belle spider in "Madagascar"?  "Well, Howdy!")  And since Gigantor had vanished I could potentially run into this mutant anyplace!

(Cue "Mission Impossible" theme here.)

Dragons?  OK.  Light Sabers?  Bring it!  Incredibly Giant Spiders from Outer Space?  Not so ready!  Come on!  Really?

This morning I was informed that the 8 Legged Death had been squished by my PS last night!

Thank goodness!  I beat the big "C" to be threatened by oversized arachnids from someplace in the universe?  Naahh!  I don't think so!

Now if they were giant, cancerous spiders from outer space...