What I Have In Common With The Giants According to Brian Sabean and Me!

Hello Fellow Travelers!

When Mr. Brian Sabean mentioned that these Giants players are like cockroaches, “Last year, if we were being the misfits, this year, we’re a bunch of cockroaches. You just can’t kill us off.”, I had to take heart or exception because I had made a very personal cockroach-connection in a blog in September citing the film, "District 9". That flick, if you recall, was about aliens and racists. Or a racist who turns into an alien. Alien cockroach!


Hard to kill, my cancer-free ass! That was kind of my point a month ago. That or loneliness, I'll have to go back and look. What does a middle aged, female, brain cancer survivor have in common with a World Series Giant's Team? We're both scrappy! We're both big Giants' fans. And that's about it. I related a little to an alien roach/man. The idea that the Giants were like roaches made it all the way to the NBC Pregame Show where the guys superimposed player's heads onto animated roach bodies, which was pretty darn funny. The best part was when they took the Giant Roach from Men In Black and superimposed a Giant's cap on it's head. That bug was badass! (As a Giant anyway)


PS- No, I did not blog on Monday. I was too sad and had nothing to say. Just kidding! I was watching game 7! GO GIANTS!

Spiders In Space Not the Best Pairing Since Chocolate and Peanut Butter

Hello Fellow Travelers!

Yesterday, the Spouse and I (Mostly the Spouse) watched part of a movie called "Apollo 18".  It may as well be called, "Blair Witch 18" or "Paranormal Activity in Space".  With crackling dialogue  like, "What the hell was that?" and "I heard it too.  What was that? " Did you also know that the moon is crawling with all different sizes of Space Spiders?  Well it is.  Did you also know that the Government knows all about it?  Well, they do.

I looked at the screen long enough to figure out what was going on and it was another flick concocted by men for men.  Astronauts and spiders!  If they could figure out a way to get some Hooters girls and some beer up there it would be the perfect movie.   A female never would write such a silly story.  Any female knows that just being in a space suit or being in the tiny capsule is claustrophobic.  A space suit is not only claustrophobia in and of itself a space suit is kind of  disgusting (all the bathroom functions happen in the suit for starters).  And it doesn't help the wearer's appearance one bit.  So the idea that the space spider gained access to astronauts through their heavy, ugly, suits made all kinds of sense to me.  And the capsule, could it be any tinier or more cramped?  No surprise there, either.  Mission Control refusing any assistance citing "contamination", well isn't that what the Government always does?

No woman I know would don that ridiculous suit, or live in a capsule too small to float in, let alone make a movie about it .  It all sounds really uncomfortable.  It looks awfully uncomfortable.  Space spiders?  Of course they win!  Big unwieldy suits, tiny capsules, those guys don't have a prayer!  Too silly for females to even consider.  The spouse admitted the whole thing was pretty silly.  Although I could see it sounded good on paper  - astronauts  plus spiders equals a hit.  Not so much.

The Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living? Says Who?

Hello Fellow Travelers!

Because I have a date scheduled to see my neurosurgeon, I feel the need to start doing a completely unscientific inventory of my  many limitations and the corresponding deficiencies that  have all presented themselves since 2011.  I'm putting these "conditions" in no particular order.  I am dizzy and imbalanced 24/7. This has the sum total effect of rendering me unable to fix anything, that I could easily repair myself in little time.  Having double vision, still, makes it impossible to cook, clean, work, drive walk, eat, deal with hair or makeup in any meaningful way.  My voice has left the building,  I still am not sure why.  The absence of my not-so-dulcet-tones permeating the region is not probably any loss to anyone but it's inconvenient as hell for me.  I can't go anyplace without assistance, I breathe funny.  I'm in pain all the time.

I had hoped to be one of those cool, cancer survivor women you see sometimes; they have very short hair and wear big pieces of jewelry.  The thing about these women that really sets them apart, is how their faces look, like they were washed by fire.  Like they saw something really bad, fought it and won!  I really don't know if these ladies had cancer but they definitely had something!  My point is that I'll never be one of those women (they seem to come from or are moving to Big Sur) they seem other-worldly and effortlessly perfect.  I'm still in the "Feeling like I'm being assaulted every day" stage.  This stage seems to go on forever and doesn't allow perfection.  At the end of the day, you're just happy to be alive.


My hair looks great.  It's the only part of me that isn't deteriorating.  Apparently, the old axiom is true, "If you don't use it you'll lose it!"  Of course hair is dead but who cares?  Cancer patients have one rule that defines everything and puts everything in it's proper place.  And the rule is this:  There is Cancer and everything else without Cancer.

PS-Before I get jumped on, I do know it was Socrates who provided the saying about unexamined life, blah, blah, blah. I understand that Socrates was pretty jumpy himself. Or rather, the young Greek boys he hung out with were jumpy. I always get that confused, but someone was jumpy or getting jumped.

The Forgotten Woman? Born Before 1970? You Betcha!

Hello Fellow Travelers!


There are few things I look forward to these days, mostly I push myself a little further and a little harder every day,  at the gym.  I know it sounds boring, it is.  That's the life of a brain cancer patient; boring and hard.  I have taken the time to really learn the game of Baseball, listen to my child and appreciate my spouse.  I thoroughly scrutinize any mail that comes my way.  One piece of mail I look forward to receiving is the monthly issue of InStyle, it's full of pretty things;  pretty clothes, pretty accessories, pretty rooms, pretty food.  And, if you are style-challenged, like me, they lay out the outfits page after page with prices, websites and all the accessories.  I have my mom to thank for a wide variety of publications I receive every week/month.  This was a really good thing because when you first come out of brain surgery (and I wasn't warned about this either) you're partially blind and what you do see, floats in space so it's nearly impossible to focus on or read anything.  This subsided after awhile and I'm back to reading books but I still thoroughly enjoy my monthly InStyle. It's just so lovely!

One aspect of this monthly stylish bounty is that there are easy to follow directions and step by step instructions on every trend covered, broken down into age groups 20's/30's/40's.  After the 30's, the instructions on what to purchase/use become a little murky. The directives for beauty if you were born before 1970, are non-existent.  At the most advanced age group they recommend heavy machinery and grout for skin treatment. Maybe we're not supposed to read it.

I take issue with the lack of information, or style directions offered to anyone born before 1970.  There must be lots of ladies who are fashion-crippled, like myself, born before 1970, like myself, and have money to burn, not like myself.  What are we supposed to read?  Not all (or any) of the women I know have stylists; we need those instructions!  Spackle and a Dremel Tool!  Bring it on!  But I need directions!

Bath Salts or Bath Salts? Calgon, Take Me Away!

Hello Fellow Travelers!

Once I heard from a reliable source that some kids were injecting Bath Salts, I set out to discover what they  were or weren't.  I found out people purchased this stuff until recently at really classy joints like head shops and gas stations.  (Don't blame me, Wikipedia says that!)  Bath salts (the drug) look just like bath salts (lame and dusty gift) hence the name.  But that's where the similarity ends.  I don't feel too bad about missing this particular trend, it wasn't a glimmer in the DEA's eye until 2010.  It's still pretty lame.  Bath salts?  Oh no! (Remember Jean Nate?  You were never entirely sure what it was but it was always hangin' around your mother's tub!)

Cocaine and heroin are drugs we can respect and fear.  Whatever happened to Crack?  You never hear about Crack anymore and I thought it sounded real scary.  Those are all scary reasons for us to rationalize the multi billions we Americans spend every year in a drug war that we are losing.  I don't believe any politician could scare the country to the same extent by telling us persuasive stories about the new scourge:  Bath Salts?

So, I'm glad I could solve that mystery for you.  OK, OK, so I was the only one who was mystified, no need to make a Federal case out of it!  Maybe there is a need make a Federal case, who knows?  Maybe some enterprising attorney has already filed a suit.  In Federal Court.  I hope it's already being litigated someplace but with my luck these days I'll run across the previously mentioned enterprising lawyer trolling for claimants on the same stupid channel that has attorneys soliciting claimants who have had problems with their Mesh Sling Implant.   More mystery, Sheesh!  Some things are meant to stay mysterious.

I'm Back with a Vengeance! A Special "After School" Rant

Hello Fellow Travelers, I'm back!

I took a little break, I was afraid I'd given myself Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, and my spouse took one look at the ridiculous way I was typing and insisted that I suspend all my typing activities until a doctor looked at my right hand.  Probably because of the tumor, I fell and shattered my left elbow in '08.  My whole life I was a Southpaw.  I always admired people with pretty penmanship which, as a group, lefties are not known for.  Realizing early on that I would never win a penmanship award (if I could find a school that still awarded them), I focused on bold printing.  While my printing never achieved the Spartan elegance of an architect or a    
graphic designer, it was, at least, legible.

To answer the health questions:  I seem to have developed tendinitis   The good news about that tendinitis requires no surgery.  Thank you tumor!  The bad news is my right hand was the one that worked, it doesn't now at all.  So while two more big, medical, brains mulled over my many ailments, I left their offices without any more information and a wasted morning!  To help my right hand, I'm cutting back at least until I can type with two hands again.  I will post on Mondays and Fridays, I wouldn't want to be too prolific, now, would I?

I was going to use this as a PS, but it's bugging me too much as a mother and a gourmet .  I hear more and more about kids doing crazy things with and because of, bath salts.  Bath salts?  I'm going to go on about it for so many reasons, first of which is I really don't understand it.  What are the kids doing with bath salts?  Is "bath salts" slang for something else?  Are they talking about the salts that look kind of pretty and you get them as sort of a lame gift and they smell like old ladies? Like, really old ladies?  The bath salts that if you get    them as some sort of gift from someone who obviously doesn't know or understand you so you relegate the pretty container to the Guest Bath where it gets all dusty and cobwebby?   Those bath salts?  What on Earth are those poor children doing with them and why?  Can you say "Bath salts are a serious problem affecting our young people."with a straight face?  Try, I'll wait.  Can't do it, can you?  Me neither.

I don't like taking any controversial issues on, especially in my present condition, so allow me to go out on a limb here.  Is that the best the kids can do?  Bath salts?  I can't even type it with a straight face.  What happened to the big movement to legalize pot?  I, myself do not partake, but also have no issue with those that do.  Who am I kidding?  The litmus test is "Would you allow and encourage any child you loved to smoke marijuana?"  And the answer is "Probably, not."  But bath salts?  Poor kids! What brainiac came up with that?  The same mastermind who discovered Whippets? ( I also am out of the loop there, I thought Whippets were skinny dogs used in racing)  And what genius discussion, from what think tank thought ingesting bath salts would be a great idea?

Bath salts?  Why not lamp finials or kitty litter?  I thought I was keenly aware of all manner of trouble-the-kids-might-get-into but I guess I have new issues to consider.  How about the little balls used to fill plush animals?  Hershey's chocolate?  Any kind.  Glue from expensive stationary, just the envelopes?  Where's Julie Andrews when we really need her?  She should be singing about a few of my favorite things.  Bath Salts?  Really?  That's the new heroin?  Really.  Because bath salts make me smile.  Unless I'm really bored, which I am most of the time.  I will be concerned if I need to be.  If I can stop laughing long enough to research bath salts.  Again, who am I kidding?  I think it's not a problem for me and therefore not a necessary log on my 'Bonfire O' Stress' which is always burning.  I will not research bath salts, no matter what Dr. Phil says.  I've got brain cancer to worry about.  I don't have time to see if bath salts or Beanie Babies or designer sheets pose a serious threat to our (my) youths.